Begrudingly Leaving My Comfort Zone and Learning to Play with Others

As a child, the first words used to describe me were always "outgoing" or "talkative". I loved being known as the funny friend, even when it got me in trouble. It was nice to be known as someone who could make other people smile.

When I took the Myers-Briggs test my sophomore year in college, I scored as an Extrovert. No surprises there; I loved talking to new people, going to parties, etc. Making friends in new environments was never something that scared me. Years of theatre performances and experience on improv teams made me feel confident speaking in public and thinking on my feet.

As my sophomore year continued, my eating patterns took a turn for the worse. Not only did I distance myself from friends, family, and social situations altogether, but I lost my outgoing personality. If you've experienced any type of disordered eating past, you can probably relate. I ate most meals alone because it was comfortable, and giving the excuses of being too tired or having too much homework were all too easy to spew out. Who cares if I don't have any friends so long as I can eat my "safe" foods?

This past summer, I had an internship away from home for the first time. Living alone didn't scare me in the slightest; I had the freedom to cook my food to my liking, to eat when I wanted, to go about my life in whatever routine I pleased. It was safe and it was easy. I didn't keep food in the apartment that would stress me out and no one could question my eating habits. I was constantly alone yet I was never lonely. This was the dream...right?

I moved into an apartment on campus this year with three of my teammates. Despite my excitement to live with my closest friends, and to have a kitchen to cook all the meals I could never make in a dorm room, I was terrified. This would be the first time that I would have to challenge myself and to let other people into such a private part of my life. I've never been someone to advocate stepping outside of your comfort zone. Why would I step out of it? It's comfortable here, duh.

In the last month I have realized how much I missed out on over the last few years. Having a social atmosphere at my fingertips has reminded me how much I enjoy spending time with others. Instead of fighting with myself and forcing myself to enjoy being introverted, I am slowly remembering who I was before the disorder. Sure, I still love to have my alone time, but it feels wonderful to know that spending time with others isn't as scary as I thought, and that it can be much more special to have an unplanned or "scary" meal with them than it is to eat safer foods in solitude. I wouldn't say that I'm welcoming this new territory yet with outstretched arms, but uncrossing my arms and loosening a fist is good enough for now.

Chocolate Chunk Pumpkin Blondies

Made some Chocolate Chunk Pumpkin Blondies today and they turned out great! I used the Jamie Eason Lean Body For Her Natural Whey Concentrate in Vanilla which I've been dying to try for such a long time now. It bakes SO well and the ingredients and flavor are both on point. Click here to check out this protein powder, you won't regret it! 

Recipe:
•1 cup chickpeas 
•3/4 cup pumpkin purée 
•2T sugar free syrup (I used hazelnut Torani but you could omit for just 2T more almond milk) 
•1/4 cup liquid egg whites 
•1 scoop Vanilla whey 
•2T almond milk 
•Vanilla extract 
•1/2tsp baking powder 
•Chocolate chips to taste 
•2 stevia packets
 
Blend all ingredients except for chocolate chips and pour into a greased dish. Bake at 350 for about 30-40 minutes.
 
Macros (serves 6): 96 calories, 2.1g fat, 12.5 carbs, 8.3 protein

Tiramisu Egg White Proats

Like most fit foodies out there, I'm always looking to get the most volume I can get from my foods. Tricking myself into thinking I'm getting ginormous portion sizes is a great way to help me stay full longer, something that's pretty difficult to do. Egg white oats are something that I've always been skeptical of but have recently fallen madly in love with.

I recently took a trip to WalMart and picked up some rum extract which lead me to thinking this would be the perfect time to whip up some Tiramisu oats. These were amazing - the coffee, rum, vanilla, and cinnamon flavors all work together so perfectly. Definitely try these out and let me know what you think!

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup oats
• Rum extract
• Vanilla extract
• Stevia
• Cinnamon
• 1T Chia seeds
• 3T or 1 Egg white(s)
• 1/4 scoop Cinnamon Swirl whey (I used Cellucor)
• Toppings!

Directions:
Cook 1/2 cup of oats in 1 cup of water for about 3 minutes. Then, add in your extracts (the amount varies to your own personal preference), 1 stevia packet, and 3T egg whites. Microwave the oats in :30 second intervals, stirring vigorously each time, until the egg whites have cooked and the oats have fluffed up. This usually takes me about 3-4 intervals. Add 1T chia seeds and cinnamon to taste. I also took the time to add in a bit of my coffee I had made, just to get some flavor in, not too much though. Once the oats have cooled a bit, add in 1/4 scoop or 1T cinnamon swirl whey. Top and devour! I used some berries and a TBSP of all natural peanut butter for some classic perfection.

Strawberry Hot Chocolate

It's that time of year again, the time of year when I start craving literally anything that has sugar in it. And by "year" I obviously mean day.

I have a MAJOR sweet tooth and can't go a day without some kind of chocolate in my lifestyle. One of my favorite ways to eat chocolate is when it's covered around a nice, juicy, strawberry. One of the all time best combos in my opinion is berries with chocolate (or pretty much anything with chocolate. Like even vegetables, I'm that much of a freak).

One of my mom and I's favorite things to do is watch cooking shows on the Food Network, specifically Barefoot Contessa and Giada at Home, and just completely heckle them while the show's going. I mean, I think Giada's cool and everything but for the love of God, just say "parmesean", not "parmagiano". We get it, you're Italian.

The other day, my mom and I watched Giada make a Strawberry Hot Chocolate and seeing how this recipe was easy enough that her toddler helped her to do the whole thing, I figured it was a recipe simple enough to where I couldn't mess it up. Here's my spin on it!

Ingredients:

• 1 cup almond milk
• 1 TBSP cocoa powder (*tip - for an extra boost of protein, use chocolate whey instead!)
• 3-4 strawberries
• Chocolate chips (optional)
• Stevia to taste

Simply combine the almond milk and cocoa, heat it up until it reaches the desired temperature, blend it all up with the strawberries and chocolate chips, and enjoy!

Alternatively, to make this drink more summer appropriate, you could take this blended mixture, pour it into an ice tray, and blend it up once it's frozen for a frozen hot chocolate!

Hope you all enjoy!

Nut Butters Galore!

I, like many other health foodies, love, love, LOVE trying out new nut butters. They are a great source of fats and proteins and are absolutely delicious. I can't even imagine anymore how I went through so much of my life having only known of plain peanut butter, chunky or smooth, when there are so many out there now that I couldn't imagine living without. In the last year or so I have tried quite a variety of brands so I figured I would start documenting my opinions on them in order to help some newbies out with selecting brands. I'll be constantly updating this list since I try and refrain from buying the same brands over and over again so keep checking back for more!

Peanut Butter & Co. - Smooth Operator: Your classic smooth peanut butter; no complaints here.

Peanut Butter & Co.- Crunch Time: Again, a classic. Perfect amount of peanut crunch in every bite.

Peanut Butter & Co. - Dark Chocolate Dreams: Absolutely love this one. Really rich and dark chocolate flavor but the peanutty-ness still comes through. If you don't like dark chocolate this one wouldn't be for you as it's definitely has a dark and rich taste, not like a regular milk chocolate.

Peanut Butter & Co. - White Chocolate Wonderful: This is a staple in my nut butter collection. It's just like a regular smooth peanut butter but it has these sweet notes in it that make the nut butter even more rich and delicious. Very sweet, very tasty.

Peanut Butter & Co.- Cinnamon Raisin Swirl: This nut butter is a favorite of mine as I love all things cinnamon. Unlike DCD and WCW, this one tastes very sugary. It kind of has a little crunch in it because of all the cinnamon sugar. If you're concerned about raisins for any reason, I actually don't see too many of them in this nut butter; definitely not overwhelming.

Peanut Butter & Co.- Mighty Maple: Sweeter than a regular PB but also has that sugary crunch like Cinnamon Raisin Swirl. The maple flavor isn't too prominent in my opinion, but it's definitely sweet in a different way than WCW is.

Justin's - Almond Butter: Smooth and rich and a little gritty. Definitely not liquid-y like some other almonds can be. I really like the consistency of this brand in general.

Justin's - Vanilla Almond Butter: GOLD. LITERAL GOLD IN A JAR. I am such a huge fan of this stuff; so so sweet and the vanilla complements the almond butter perfectly without overwhelming it. A little on the pricey side but I will definitely continue to repurchase.

Justin's - Maple Almond Butter: I've only had this in the squeeze/sample packs but it's been great every time. I love pairing this with graham crackers and apples. Sweet but not as much as the Vanilla AB. Still lovely though.

Justin's - Chocolate Hazelnut Butter: Rich and warm and very smooth. Beats Nutella every time in my book. The chocolate flavor is milkier and smoother than the PB&Co. Dark Chocolate Dreams in case that was too much for you.

PB Crave - Cookie Nookie: Great peanut butter. Smooth and sweet and the little chocolate chips in it make it so delicious and creamy. Not a healthier brand by any means but it's really great.

MaraNatha All Natural Creamy Almond Butter: A classic. Not as gritty as Justin's and definitely much more liquid-y but the almond taste is phenomenal and it pairs well with everything.

MaraNatha All Natual Crunchy Almond Butter: Gritter than the creamy version but delicious; the little chunks of almonds add an extra pop. This brand has more of a roasted flavor in my opinion as well.

Barney Butter - Creamy Almond Butter: This brand is definitely something different in terms of almond butters. It has the great taste of a classic almond butter but with the consistency of a regular peanut butter; no grit, just smooth and creamy. I am a huge fan. Even though it's just a regular almond butter, it's almost like a different flavor because of how different the consistency is compared to most.

Earth Balance - Coconut Peanut Butter: Absolutely NAILED the coconut flavor. A nice and smooth peanut butter but with sweet coconut notes that really kick it up a notch. 

Wild Friends - Chocolate Coconut Peanut Butter: Not a huge favorite in my book. The chocolate flavor is great but I find it hard to taste the coconut. Sort of just like a regular Chocolate PB that's a little off.

Wild Friends - Chocolate Almond Butter with Sunflower Seeds: This one really nailed the pairing of chocolate with almond butter. The sunflower seeds also add a pleasant crunch that isn't too overwhelming and adds the perfect amount of savory taste to the sweet nut butter.The chocolate almost tastes fudge-y, it's amazing.

Barney Butter - Crunchy Almond Butter: Same great smooth texture as the creamy version but with almond chunks. Instead of MaraNatha's crunchy almond butter though, where the chunks are almonds with the skin on them, these chunks are just the inside of the almond. Resembles a crunchy peanut butter a lot.

Wild Friends - Vanilla Espresso Almond Butter: This was so exciting to try since I'd heard so much about it. The espresso taste was a lot stronger than I imagined it to be. Perfectly gritty, I really loved it.

Kolat Superfoods - Cherry Vanilla Almond Butter: The texture of this almond butter is out of control! Perfect balance of creaminess matched with grit. You don't get the vanilla taste as much as you do with Justin's Vanilla Almond Butter but it's still there, just a tad more mild. Little chewy cherry chunks are dispersed throughout the jar too; the combination of tart cherry with sweet vanilla is absolutely awesome.

PB Crave - Razzle Dazzle Peanut Butter: The texture of these brand's nut butters is great, really smooth and creamy. The raspberry flavor is definitely strong. It's surprising because unlike other nut butters with fruit where the fruit is just in chunks throughout, this one has the raspberry taste infused in. It's awesome. The white chocolate chunks are also a great addition as they add a perfect amount of sweet.

Wild Friends - Honey Pretzel Peanut Buter: Absolutely love. Perfect amount of salty, crunchy, pretzel chunks to complement the nut butter. It's like a regular crunchy peanut butter but better.

PB Crave - Choco Choco: Least favorite out of the PB Crave nut butter's that I've tried so far. Not bad, just nothing to write home about. Same as Cookie Nookie in terms of consistency but doesn't have that extra punch. Higher carbs than most nut butter's as well (11g for 2 TBSP) so overall not so worth the buy.

Trader Joe's - Crunchy Peanut Butter with Chia and Flax Seeds: Phenomenal. Texture is great, nut butter doesn't have too many peanut chunks but just the right amount as well as a good amount of chia seeds as well. Have already re-purchased.

Nuts N More - Toffee Crunch: OUT OF THIS WORLD. Everyone needs to bow down to this nut butter. Fantastic macros and tastes almost sugary, like it has that extra crunch to it. Sweet and creamy and melts wonderfully. Only downside is it's kind of hard to track down and fairly expensive but totally worth it.

Jif Whips - Maple & Brown Sugar: Amazing. Sweet without being overpowering and warm. Love the texture of the whips brand and how creamy they are.

Jif Whips - Pumpkin Spice: Same as the Maple Brown Sugar, but I think I like this one a little bit more. Has a great warmth similar to the maple flavor but a little more spice which I love. 

Trader Joe's - Creamy Cashew Butter: Literally liquid sex in a jar. Melty and salty and creamy and perfect. Have already repurchased and will do so time and time again. Best cashew butter I've ever had, wayyyy better than the Artinisa (?) brand IMO.