Macros, Intuitive Eating, and Finding a Balance

Numbers. Who would have ever thought that I would let something as silly as numbers control my life so much?

In the beginning of my weight loss journey, numbers were a vital ingredient towards my success. I'm sure most weight loss beginners feel the same. Counting calories and tracking macros all made me feel in control. I knew that if I tinkered around on MyFitnessPal for long enough and was able to fit in 11g of peanut butter into my sixth meal of the day, then I would hit my calorie goals and I would wake up with a flatter stomach and a happier brain. This kind of thinking kept me on track, held me accountable, and led me to lose about 50 pounds.

However, I'm realizing that there needs to be an end game to all of this. Like so many people I follow on Instagram, I am realizing that the numbers game cannot be forever. I know that I can't be tracking calories for the rest of my life and staying home while my friends are out to dinner because I couldn't find the restaurants nutrition information is a total waste of my time. Even while I was away at school for this past year, I am saddened thinking about how many meals I missed out on with friends because I was worried about being able to count calories.

This obsessive behavior has led me to gain weight as well. Our bodies need varying amounts of fuel each day depending on our activity level and telling your body you're only going to allow if 2000 calories, 60g  of fat, 250g of carbs, and 150g of protein (for example, not my own macros), is ridiculous. Some days I would be ravenous but wouldn't eat because I had already met my macros and some days I wasn't hungry at all but I would try desperately to meet my macros for fear of my metabolism slowing down.

I'm also realizing that this behavior has led me to make some pretty unhealthy choices in my eating. Rather than eating a salad or a vegetable dish at a the dining hall because I couldn't find the macros, I would eat a bagel or something because I could track that. Yes, I would still eat my macros and everything in moderation blah blah blah, but overall, I believe that eating a bunch of bagels and missing out on some great and healthy alternatives is not good for you. Simple as that.

So yes, I do support counting macros if you're a figure competitor or something and I worry about intuitive eating not because I'm scared I'll gain weight but because sometimes I'm scared I'll sell myself too short, but you know what? I've spent a full year of my life playing around on MFP and the time has come for me to move on. I'm 20 years old and should be enjoying life, not stressing about having a 6.5 oz sweet potato instead of 6.2 oz one.

I hope by proclaiming all of this on my blog, I will be held more accountable. For the next two weeks I am hereby making a promise to all of you and myself to:
1. Not track a single macro
2. Not weigh myself (another obsessive and stupid habit)
3. To eat wholesome and nutritious foods
4. To be spontaneous with my eating

I'm hoping in two weeks I'll feel healthier, look better, and will really be able to be on the road to a macro-less lifestyle. And after the two weeks? I hope to continue on with this! I'm just saying two weeks to make this goal seem a little less daunting.

"If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you". Let's see how true this holds up to be!